Help Your Grey Through Grief
by
LISA A. BONO
In Your Flock Magazine— September 2013
Shades of Grey
Shades of Grey
Help Your Grey Through Grief
Do birds go through a grieving process? Absolutely.
Do birds go through a grieving process? Absolutely.
I remember a situation a few years back. A family had several birds and the caregiver was ill. The birds were not taken care of as well as they should have been nor were they able to come out of their cages for exercise. Help came in once a week to take care of the birds (cleaning) but it was not enough. As the owner’s health declined, the birds needed to be placed in a new home.
The daughter took in both African greys. After all, she did grow up with them to some degree. While one grey seemed happy with the newfound freedom, choice of foods and surroundings, the other grey was visibly upset. He did not want to come out, refused to eat and often huddled in the back corner of the cage. It took a lot of time for him to adjust and he never seemed happy. Thinking of how things were when the daughter and bird lived under the same roof, the bird never really did care for the daughter and now the bird was once again living with her and his favored loved one was “gone.” I’m sure the bird did not understand why his whole world changed.
The daughter worked with the grey for months. While the bird eventually tried new foods and came out of his cage every once in a while, he was still visibly upset by his surroundings.
The daughter knew how much her father, who had since passed, had loved the bird; she did everything in her power to try to make the situation work. Eventually, feeling as if she was letting her father down, she realized the best place for the bird was with someone else.
Sad and unselfishly, she turned to a family friend who also had known her father and the bird. The friend, Rick agreed to take in the grey and care for him.
The daughter hoped that her father would somehow understand giving up the bird didn’t mean she didn’t love the bird; she loved the bird too much to see how sad he was after nearly a year of her best efforts.
I’m happy to report that the bird, Bubba has thrived in his new home, and that the daughter, ME, is content knowing I made the best choice for my father’s beloved grey.
Trouble Finds Second Love
This leads me to think about what we can do to help a bird over the grief of losing its chosen loved one. Birds are adaptable. They can thrive in a new home with some help, understanding and guidance.
This leads me to think about what we can do to help a bird over the grief of losing its chosen loved one. Birds are adaptable. They can thrive in a new home with some help, understanding and guidance.
Recently I found a home for a client’s grey. My client, Tony passed away from a heart procedure. His grey, Trouble found herself in the middle of chaos and was not being attended to by the only one left in the home due to the owner’s illness. The family didn’t know what to do with the bird and it was just a chance meeting that a family friend stopped in my store and explained the situation. I felt it was my obligation to help find Trouble a home that she would thrive in and where she would be well taken care of. I owed it to Trouble and to Tony.
Within 10 minutes of the plea on my grey page on Facebook, one of my clients, Andrea stepped forward and welcomed her home. When I asked Andrea what she did to help Trouble adjust she replied:
“I found out from the original owner as much as possible about her likes and dislikes. She hates having her cage covered and will chew through covers. She loves music, cheerios and to be talked to.
“Unfortunately, we had to discard her old cage due to it being in poor condition, but we kept the few old toys and tent for familiarity to put in her new cage and gave her one-on-one time. She has a red ball with a bell in it that she loves so I spent time playing with her. Trouble and I developed a daily/evening routine for her that is predictable.
It may sound silly, but I ‘asked’ Tony, her former owner, for help and guidance from above. I imitated the sounds and words she used (except cuss words) and it took time to adjust to the unfamiliar house noises. We would walk around and touch things that may have appeared scary to show her they were safe. When we approached her we used a softer and friendlier voice to encourage and engage her.”
Abby Comes Home
Another instance is my own Abigail Grace. She came to me through one of my veterinarians. I had met Dr. Pilny in 2002 when I had a very ill bird. Despite having the best team of doctors I could dream up, my grey Sampson Bell did not make it. Grateful for the care the team of doctors had provided I stayed in touch with them over the next decade.
Another instance is my own Abigail Grace. She came to me through one of my veterinarians. I had met Dr. Pilny in 2002 when I had a very ill bird. Despite having the best team of doctors I could dream up, my grey Sampson Bell did not make it. Grateful for the care the team of doctors had provided I stayed in touch with them over the next decade.
When Dr. Pilny needed to find a home for his beloved grey, he asked me if I would consider giving her a home. Although the inn was full, in some strange way, I felt as if the passing of my grey was coming full circle. I happily agreed to bring this lovely grey home. When I had met her at Dr. Pilny’s place, it was obvious how she adored him. She was on his shoulder cooing and kissing his cheek. It was not easy to place her in my car and drive away.
As we started our long journey home, Abigail was deeply upset. She began to throw up. I was on a major highway and could not stop. I talked calmly and a friend held her in her carrier. When we finally arrived home, she was placed in a small holding cage until I could shine up her stainless steel cage. She did not understand all the changes and was a very unhappy grey. Abby was happy to go to anyone but me. After all, she perceived it was my fault that she had lost the person she loved and her home. I made her sick in the car and placed her in this horrid little cage. I was the enemy—a bad person. She was able to show her dislike of me using the only way she could— she bit me. I bled for five hours.
Abby and I worked slowly but we were constantly working on trust. As mentioned in a previous article, greys learn by associated learning. Abby watched the interaction between my other greys and me. We worked in a little Model/Rival training as used by Dr. Irene Pepperberg and the greys Alex, Griffin and Wart at the university. It wasn’t long before Abby decided that I wasn’t half bad and wanted to interact with me more. To date, she is very bonded with me. More so than my other greys, Sydney, Emma Lynn and Stirling (my dad’s other grey).
Prepare for the Next Home
What can be done to help a grey adjust to a new home? Keep a scrapbook or journal such as MYLIFEBOOK. This will give the new caregiver access to the bird’s medical history, likes, dislikes, age and any other pertinent information.
What can be done to help a grey adjust to a new home? Keep a scrapbook or journal such as MYLIFEBOOK. This will give the new caregiver access to the bird’s medical history, likes, dislikes, age and any other pertinent information.
If you’ve rehomed a grieving bird, understand that because you may be thrilled that you have a “new” bird, the bird is not necessarily happy to be in that situation. Work patiently, but diligently on gaining trust. Keep adding to that bank of trust. Move at the bird’s pace, not yours.
Learn and understand body language of that particular bird. Each bird is an individual and we must respect that. You don’t have to be hands-on right away to interact. Sit and read to the bird. Show pictures and make it fun. That is interacting but not invading the bird’s space.
Realize that a parrot is still a wild animal one or two generations removed from the wild and is not domesticated like a dog or cat. Time, patience and trust is the key for them to feel secure in their new home, and whatever you do, please keep up that journal for the next caregiver. Remember that the bird you just took in was someone’s beloved pet at one time and they only wanted the best for him or her. For whatever reason, the pet bird ended up in your home and deserves to be treated kindly and cared for properly.
Pet Bird Noise 101- By Lisa A. Bono for BirdTalk.
You’ve read the books, you’ve searched online and talked to whomever you could to make sure your new pet bird will be a good match. Then you get your new parrot home and start to wonder when your landlord or neighbor might be knocking at your door because of the noise. What did you get yourself into? The following information just may help you live peacefully with your bird and your neighbors.
With the possible exception of cockatiels, lovebirds and budgerigars (budgies or “parakeets”), no parrot species meets the description of a domesticated pet. They are usually only one, two or three generations removed from the wild and are not genetically different from their wild cousins. A hand-raised parrot will not have identical vocalizations to its wild cousins, but their sounds will be similar in patterns and purpose.
How Parrots “Grow” Their Noise
As babies, parrots tend to be quiet. Most only vocalize to evoke feeding. As they start to mature and become their own little beings, they begin to learn they have a voice. Many people think that when they bring a young pet bird home, the bird will always be quiet like it was as a baby. Not true. Noise is quickly becoming the primary behavioral issue that parrot behavioral consultants encounter today, and it is a huge factor as to why some birds lose their homes.
Pet birds can be expected to make noise on and off during the day, usually with a steady pattern to the noise. The loudest times are often at dawn and dusk. These times can be considered contact calls to flock members.
The morning vocalization is a celebration of surviving another night, announcing territory, and let’s all gather to be social and eat. The day is spent foraging for food and flying, with sporadic interactions on and off. There are some down times and some rest periods, generally in the hottest time of day.
The other loud burst of noise often occurs again as night falls. Vocalization at this time of day may be from a combination of factors depending on the flock; as certified-parrot behavior consultant and director of the Anchorage, AK chapter of PEAC, Karen Webster said, “It could be a welcome home to a flock member, the typical nightly roll call to flock members to say, ‘Is anyone missing, we are going to sleep now. If you’re not close by, get your tail feathers over here.’”
We as owners need to learn to distinguish the different types of vocalization and their meaning. It is our birds’ way of communicating with us, and we must take time to understand it. If we choose to ignore their communication, it is likely to contribute to further behavioral issues down the road. Learning to read body language is also crucial to understanding overall communication with your bird.
There is always a reason for the vocalization of our parrots; warning, contact, etc. Be familiar with the daily noise so you can tell when something is out of the ordinary. For example, a lack of vocalization can mean illness, while an overabundance can mean distress.
It’s difficult to generalize a species since they are, like people, individuals. This article can be used as a general guide to noise levels and what you can expect.
Many Amazon parrots are known to have a remarkable ability to mimic human speech along with other sounds. Some Amazon species are more vocal than others. The orange-winged and lilac-crowned Amazons are among the quieter members of the genus Amazona, whereas the double yellow-headed, yellow-naped and blue-fronted Amazons tend to be the noisier members of the species.
Generally speaking, the loudest family of parrots are the cockatoos. Moluccan cockatoos are noted to be the loudest cockatoo species and the citron-crested cockatoo the quietest. It should be mentioned however, that no cockatoo is truly quiet. According to the cockatoo website mytoos.com, “A 747 Jumbo Jet produces as much as 140 decibels of noise. 105db is considered damaging to the ear. Peacocks have been registered at 115, Moluccans hold the record as the loudest bird on earth at 135db (average = 120db).”
We usually think of ear-splitting noises as coming from the larger species like macaws and cockatoos. They can be very loud and heard up to 5 miles away. They use their voice to call flock members across miles of dense jungles. Their vocalization, however, usually lasts 20 to 25 minutes in the morning and evening. That can be more tolerable to some people than a conure, lovebird or parrotlet that doesn’t seem to have an off button all day. It comes down to the individual owners as it does the species and bird. Garry Wallan, aviculturist and operator of Old World Aviaries in Texas, cheerfully mentioned this while thinking of his own flock,“ One person’s sweet tweet of avian innocence is another’s grating screech.”
For a little more information on decibels, Kashmir Csaky, a certified-parrot behavior consultant and chair of the parrot division of the International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants, did an experiment with her flock of hyacinth macaws to assist me with the research for this article.
“The intensity of sound in watts per square meter is twice as high in increments of three decibels. So, 103 decibels (dB) is twice as intense as 100 decibels. For the human ear to perceive the sound as twice as loud it has to be 10 dB higher,” said Csaky. “My bird rooms have concrete floors, drywall or wood walls. There is little to absorb sound. With all the birds making virtually no noise and the radio playing, the sound level was 55 to 60 dB. A macadamia nut shell dropped to the metal tray of a playgym was 80 dB. Once birds began screaming the level was 100 to 104 dB. Hyacinth macaw alarm calls were 106 dB. A scarlet macaw measured at 102 dB from 15 feet away. I also measured the sound from outside. When it was 100 to 104 dB inside, outside — with windows and doors closed — the measurement dropped to 75 dB and that was one foot from the door.”
On a whimsical note, Csaky added that her sneezes were 95 dB.
It is also known that many parrots enjoy noise and will often try to top whatever is happening in the house. Don’t expect to have a loud television, barking dogs, or screaming kids and a quiet parrot.
Species-Noise Levels
Cockatiel, budgerigar (budgie), lovebird and parrotlet owners said most were chatty all day. None were reported to get out of the tolerable range. It didn’t seem to appear that they would bother any neighbor, with the exception of an overly loud cockatiel contact call. Pionus and Poicephalus owners (i.e., Senegal parrots, Meyer’s parrots) noted that their species were known to be on the quieter side. Most cockatoo and macaw owners noted the extreme loudness at certain times of day. Amazon and African grey owners noted more human speech being used to engage in cognitive communication. The loudest alarm warnings came from macaws, but also conures, Eclectus and African greys.
It was interesting to find that size isn’t always the determining factor for tolerable noise. Some of the loudest birds according to the polls were birds in smaller bodies. Conures ranked at No. 1 for overall loudness, as well as frequency for contact calls, greetings and alarm calls.
Jennifer Jassar from Jordan wrote, “When I was 18, I owned a nanday conure. He was so affectionate and loving. But, as far as the noise level, I used to get complaints from the neighbors in my apartment building. He used to make this call at 6 AM every morning, even if I had him in a dark room, that woke everyone up! I used to just look at him and wonder how that loud noise could come out of such a small little thing.”
Leslie Wood from New Jersey commented, “Sunny is a re-homed sun conure. Her first owner said she was too loud. Sunny was 5 when we got her, and she is now 16. Loud is a relative term. She is fairly quiet with her daily chattering noise. She is enthusiastic when she plays, and if she gets mad at her bird toys she will yell at them. With a sun conure in the house, there is no need for an alarm system. Be it a cat in the yard, an unfamiliar car on the street, or someone at the door, my sun conure lets me know with her ‘nuclear alert.’ It is a distinctly different squawk and very piercing. More often than not, she is correct in alerting me to something that is not right.”
While researching noise levels and vocalizations, I also contacted adoption and sanctuary organizations to ask which were the loudest species relinquished and were the hardest species to re-home.
The results for both questions:
- Cockatoos
- Conures
- Macaws
Sybil Erden and Janet Trumbule from The Oasis in Arizona; Matt Smith, director of The Central Virginia Parrot Sanctuary; and Marc Johnson of Foster Parrots Ltd in Rhode Island, agreed they see many conure species relinquished due to noise.
Irena Schulz, founder of Bird Lovers Only Rescue, mentioned that she has noticed an increase in cockatiels coming in due to noise. Schulz said, “The hardest to place due to noise are, of course, the cockatoos and macaws. The conures and cockatiels are much easier to place on many levels. They can become as hormonal, aggressive, destructive, and noisy as the larger birds, but because of their size they seem to be viewed as more handleable.”
Living With Parrot Noise
How do you achieve a harmonious household with a loud parrot? First, do your homework. Understand the species you are considering bringing home. Prevent problems from arising by building a strong foundation of rewarding sounds you like and ignoring sounds you don’t like. Work on correcting issues as soon as they arise. Don’t let them get out of hand before addressing them. Problematic behaviors will not go away on their own.
Parrots will often learn to produce loud vocalizations to receive desired responses they want, like attention from their owners. This is a learned vocalization and easier to extinguish with behavior modification and positive reinforcement techniques. An undesired word or sound can be morphed into an acceptable form of vocalization. This will require patience and consistency from all members of the family. Always remember to reward with positive reinforcement after desired vocalization is achieved.
The sound level you can consider appropriate and ideal will be dictated by the species and what you are willing to live with. A known vocal species will not do well in a community of close homes like townhomes or apartments. Please keep that in mind when selecting your species so your bird does not have to pay the ultimate price of losing its home. An excellent way to hear adult birds vocalizing naturally is to volunteer at a rescue or sanctuary in your area.
You cannot train your parrots to be quiet, nor should you expect them to be. Parrots are vocal by nature. We need to understand and accept the vocalizations as a part of parrot ownership.
Should you find yourself needing help with a screaming problem and your avian veterinarian has cleared the bird from any medical issues, check the directory for parrot behavior consultants found in the International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants.
A Scream Is A Scream?
- Is your bird’s scream an alarm call? Check for something that has scared your bird. Always provide a place for your bird to retreat to and feel safe from perceived dangers.
- Is it hurt? Always keep your avian veterinarians number easily available.
- Is your bird overexcited? The louder and more excited the surroundings the louder and more excited the birds become. Take a deep breath and lower your energy level. Talk calmly or whisper. When receiving desired responses, always reward with positive reinforcement. “Good girl/boy!” will go a long way.
Natural Noises
- Morning greetings
- Daily chatter
- Happy-to-be-alive outbursts
- Contact calls
- Evening greetings
- Bedtime chatter
- Alarm calls
What Should I Feed My African Grey Parrot? By Lisa A. Bono, CPBC-for Birdtalk.
Q.
What should my pet African grey be eating?
A.
Remember the saying “You are what you eat?” The same holds true for our pet birds and parrots. A parrot that is offered a seed-only diet may encounter illness and have its lifespan cut short. Improper nutrition can be the underlying cause of other health and behavioral issues for all pet birds, including African grey parrots.
Pet African grey parrot bird food should consist of a pelleted formula base supplemented with a mix of vegetables, fruits, nuts and high-quality seed to give the parrot the optimal diet. Percentages will vary depending on who you speak to. Since we cannot provide the exact diet each parrot species encounters in the wild, our goal for our pet birds is to provide foods that are well balanced and varied.
When you are out food shopping, think bright oranges and deep dark green colors for the most nutrition. Purchase organic when possible. Vegetables that are served in the raw state are best because they contain the needed enzymes that help maintain your African grey’s proper bodily functions. The beta-carotene vegetables (e.g., carrots) should be steamed so they can be digested easily.
Fresh or cooked foods should be offered daily and should not be left out to spoil. Uneaten food should be removed from the bird cages or play areas after two hours. Vegetables should be given in higher quantities then fruits. Fruits contain more sugars and can contribute to yeast problems in immune-compromised African greys. Eating fruits produces more of a watery dropping and should not cause alarm. The more exotic and colorful the fruit, the more nutritious (think mangos, papayas, pomegranates over grapes and bananas).
While all parrots need calcium, the African grey parrot seems to suffer from low-blood calcium (hypocalcaemia) more often than any other species. Offer your grey calcium-rich vegetables, greens and fruits such as: kale, mustard greens, broccoli, carrots, dandelion greens, apricots, endive, figs and okra. Spinach, chard and beet greens should be given sparingly since they are known to block the absorption of calcium. They contain oxalic acid, which binds calcium to other trace minerals making them unavailable to your African grey. Vitamin D also plays a role in optimizing calcium metabolism and is made by the body after exposure to ultraviolet light. Michael Stanford, a veterinarian from the United Kingdom has shown that ultraviolet light is crucial for maintaining healthy calcium levels in African greys. So, exposure to natural sunlight when possible and the use of bulbs containing safe UVB output is beneficial.
Other sources of calcium are baked eggshells, walnuts, hazelnuts and almonds. Kashmir K. Csaky, IAABC-Certified Parrot Behavioral Consultant, suggests filberts/hazelnuts for African greys. They are not as high in calcium as almonds, but they don’t have as much oxalic acid in them to block the calcium absorption.
Pet birds on a quality pelleted diet usually do not need vitamin or mineral supplementation. Over supplementation can be just as dangerous as not having enough. Visit your vet once a year and have a complete blood count and chemistry profile performed so you know if your African grey is in need of supplementation of any kind. Often birds on an insufficient diet have low calcium levels and may develop infections that can be seen on the blood work.
There are certain foods that are not good to give any bird. They include:
- Caffeine: No products containing caffeine should ever be offered to your grey including but not limited to coffee, tea and cola drinks.
- Chocolate: Chocolate is digested differently in birds, and other pets, than it is in humans, and the resultant digested products are toxic.
- Avocado: The skin, meat and pit contain toxins.
- Sugary or salty snacks: Excessive consumption of salt can cause increased thirst, water consumption, urination, depression, neurological excitement, tremors, in coordination and death.
- Alcohol beverages: It is not cute or funny to allow your parrot to consume anything that contains alcohol.
- Milk products: Our birds lack the digestive enzyme lactase and, therefore, cannot digest milk products containing lactose.
- Raw onions and garlic: Small amounts used in cooking are probably not dangerous, but be advised that there might be a problem with large quantities (affects the red blood cells)
- Fruit seeds and pits: May be toxic to birds, such as apple seeds, which contain cyanide. It is safest to remove all seeds from the following before offering it to your pet bird: cherries, plums, apricots and peaches are safe to feed, but also contain harmful pits.
When offering your African grey new foods, you may have to try more than once. I often tell clients to bake a sweet potato and cut it in pieces. The first day, offer a plain piece. If that is not well received, the next day try some with cayenne pepper. The third day, add cinnamon. Mix it or bake it into other foods. Never offer food once and give up. Each pet African grey is an individual and has its own tastes. It is up to us to find out what foods our African greys enjoy and to supply them with the right foods to keep them healthy.
Birds learn by observation. In the wild, parrots learn what to eat and what not to eat by watching their parents. Watching what we eat often motivates a parrot to try the food. Also, having another parrot as a role model often stimulates similar behavior. As with any new behavior desired, use positive encouragement (verbal praise and attention) to reinforce your pet bird? efforts, even if small.
African Grey Parrots : Myths & Facts
November 27, 2015 Behavior / Pet Facts- BirdChannel
Now posted at Chewy.
African Grey Parrots: Myths & Facts
Nearly 20 years ago, I remember sitting in a conference on the African grey parrot. Lovingly, the keynote speaker joked that the grey was God’s first attempt at creating a parrot. The aerodynamics of a grey — its heavy body, short wings and small feet — were all wrong. Because of this, the African grey parrot was thought to be less graceful and even considered clumsy. Through advances in aviculture, we have been able to attribute some of the “clumsiness” to young babies having wing-feather trims before they were allowed to fledge.
Severe wing-feather trims or those done too early can undermine a pet African grey’s confidence and sense of security. This can lead to further insecurities and fears as they mature. Given the chance to fledge properly, an African grey can be graceful in its flight, agile and even land on a dime. Watching Sydney Bell, my 8-year-old African grey, soar and maneuver around the house made me think of a few other misconceptions that seem to plague the African grey parrot.
THE ONE-PERSON PET AFRICAN GREY: A BONDING PROCESS
I am sure we have all heard it said that an African grey will form a bond to one person. Perhaps male birds do better with female owners, and female greys bond better with the man in the house. This is absolutely untrue. A grey might choose a favorite person, but it does not bond to one person and one person only.
Often, we create the problem and perpetuate the myth of the one-person grey with behaviors we teach. We should encourage relationships with different people while the grey is young. Early socialization, family interaction and cognitive communication are key to set the foundation for a well-rounded grey. With older, rehomed African grey parrots, you must add in time and patience. You will never win over a grey without trust, and trust is earned, not given.
I WANT A PET BIRD THAT TALKS
We see videos of talking African greys on social sites, interviews on television, and perhaps the talking bird at the local pet store. While the African grey has a wonderful reputation for cognitive communication and extensive vocabularies, there are just as many greys out there that never utter a word.
One should never desire an African grey because he or she wants a bird that talks. If you are fortunate enough to live with one of these wonderful creatures and he/she does learn to speak, consider it the icing on the cake. When it comes to talking, there is no difference between the male and female African greys’ ability to learn human language, nor any difference between the Congo or Timneh African grey. The average grey starts talking around 12 to 18 months depending on the individual bird. Some have been noted as early as 6 months of age. Most greys start out mumbling and practicing words when they are alone. They often surprise owners when they yell out their first clear word. A single grey household will often have a bird with a larger vocabulary then a multiple bird or multiple grey household. There are however, always exceptions.
NEUROTIC … OR NOT?
Neurotic-type behaviors are formed from stress, insecurities, fears and lack of confidence. If you think about it, we basically have an animal that is hardwired to flee from danger. We automatically expect it to understand all the strange things in its environment without the security of its flock. Coupled with the fact that wild Congo grey babies remain with the family unit much longer to develop emotionally then they do in the domestic pet trade today. Timneh greys are not known to have as many issues due to the quicker rate of maturation.
As Maggie Wright, author of “African Grey Parrots: A Complete Pet Owner’s Manual” and creator of the Grey Play Round Table, has said, “The more intelligent an animal is, the more likely it will have behavior problems, unless it is worked with. If a baby grey is not properly socialized to humans at an early age, it may become confused and not know how to behave.”
African greys also have a reputation of being fearful of new things introduced into their environment. While this often is true, it is possible for an African grey parrot to accept change if done properly.